It Pays to Take Time.
I was eighteen and a baker's round man when I first met my wife. She was twenty-two and a teacher. "You're not like any teacher I had", I told her.
"You just wait my lad I'll make up for all the rest." she laughed.
Her family did their best to put her off but Carol was determined.
Six months after we met she became my wife and my teacher.
"I'm not staying wed to a baker's boy." she warned. She suggested I join the police force. She coached and pushed me through my exams until at thirty I was a detective sergeant in the CID. On the way we had two children and moved from a small provincial town to London.
We had been in London about a year when the crunch came. "Super wants to see you", WPC Thompson informed me as I checked in.
Mounting the stairs to his office my mind raced over recent procedures. Had I stepped out of line? Forgotten to hand in a report - what the hell was it?
"Right Fallingway, sit down." His voice was brusque and I feared the worst.
"Your wife."
I relaxed, "Has there been an accident?"
"No, no." He clicked his biro, shuffled the report on his desk and then dropped the bombshell without looking at me.
"Consorting with criminals - Brian Kelly to be precise. You'll have to get it sorted. Take a few days leave."
I left the office in a daze. I couldn't believe it. Carol, church going, straight laced Carol!
I walked to Piccadilly Circus. Amongst the perpetual traffic noises and mocking coo of pigeons my mind turned over the times I had returned home unexpectedly to find her out. Twice she had returned at three in the morning claiming she had been visiting a girl friend. Even then it never occurred to me that she was two timing. Well she could pack all that up. From now on I wanted to know her every move.
For three days I kept her under lock and key. The kids were too young to understand what was going on but just the same I sent them to stay with Mavis, a friend of Carol. Mavis was head of a private school, a marvellous woman, intelligent and kind.
The next few days I spent on private investigation. One of the advantages of being in the CID is that you have access to information the public doesn't. On the fourth day I told Carol she could go shopping as I had to report in.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I was lonely you didn't seem to care any more and he made me feel like a woman again. Please forgive me. I'll make it up to you."
"So are you going to tell me who this 'he' is?"
She shook her head. "I can't. You'd want revenge and that could hurt you more than him. I won't see him again I promise."
I gave her fifty quid "Shopping mind you, nowhere else."
I returned home just after five to find Carol sprawling in an armchair with Mavis bathing her face with cotton wool.
"What's happened, had an accident Carol?" I asked in a voice I hoped expressed concern.
"You rotten bastard, you told her didn't you?" She yelled through puffed up lips.
Mavis looked up at me and then back to Carol's lacerated face. "I wanted to take her to hospital John but she refuses. Do you know what this is all about?"
"Of course he knows. He found out I was having an affair and he told the man's wife. The bitch attacked me."
How inconsiderate of her, was the phrase that came to mind but I answered calmly, "Really Carol, how could I have told his wife when you refused to give me his name."
"But you know, don't you? You've had him done over."
She began to cry but whether for herself or her lover I'm not sure. One thing I do know it will be a long time before Brian Kelly is indulging in affairs with anyone.
Later I confided our troubles to Mavis telling her I was eager to rebuild our marriage. I blamed myself for neglecting Carol and asked Mavis to keep the children until Carol's face had healed.
Three months after this affair I discovered Carol was taking tranquillisers.
I came home to change before meeting Mavis. She had agreed to let me say "thank you" by taking her out to dinner. Of course she expected Carol to come too.
Carol was asleep on the settee. I was about to shake her awake when I noticed a bottle of Mogodon pills on the coffee table. It was then the idea came to me. If Carol overdosed I could court Mavis. I knew she wouldn't play whilst Carol was alive; not even if I was divorced. Anyway I don't believe in divorce, too many loose ends.
I shook Carol awake, "I've said we'll take Mavis out to dinner. Try to make yourself presentable and we'll see the kids first but you've to take a hold of yourself. I don't want you crying all over them and getting them upset. It's a pity you haven't got some tranquillisers to steady you."
I watched her reaction in the mirror on the wall as I looked through the day's mail.
She picked up her bottle of pills. I could read her mind. She was calculating how long it had been since her last dose. She took them with her to the bathroom.
As we were about to leave the flat I handed her a strong shot of whisky. "Drink this it will help to steady you."
All through dinner Mavis cast anxious glances at Carol who was acting like a zombie. We didn't wait for coffee.
Leaving Carol in the car I saw Mavis into the school house. When we reached the door she asked me if Carol was ill.
"Mavis," I said brokenly, "Can't you guess? It's drugs."
Her arms went round me, "John no! Oh you poor boy,"' she said.
Briefly I held her to me, "Mavis I don't know what I would do without you." I felt her stiffen in my arms and quickly let go. I didn't want to alarm her. "Goodnight and thanks." I kissed her cheek lightly and returned to the car.
Mavis reacted predictably. Drugs had only one meaning for her and she wanted to get Carol away from her source of supply. The very next day she rang to offer the use of her holiday cottage in Wales. She also named a local nurse who would keep an eye on Carol.
My interview with the Super was brief. I applied for leave of absence for personal reasons.
"What is it, trouble with your wife?"
I told him I suspected drug taking and wanted to get her out of London as I thought she was getting them from night clubs. "I've been offered the use of a cottage in Wales by a friend of Carols. I thought if I could go with her - get her settled in - "
He reluctantly allowed ten days. That night I busted Charlie Gregg a known pusher. I roughed him up a bit and confiscated his stock. The day before I was due to return from Wales I rang Mavis. "I'm really worried about Carol," I said. "I daren't leave the kids with her. I've had a word with the doctor and he has agreed to refer her to a psychiatrist. Can you possibly have the kids again?"
Of course she could, bless her.
I set off with the kids after Carol had gone to bed and waited until I was back in London before I rang her to tell her the arrangements.
It was inevitable that she would go to her drawer for the tranquillises she kept hidden in a box of paper hankies. She would perhaps be surprised to find only two pills left in the bottle but if she thought about it at all she would assume I had removed the others for her safety. In her confused state she wouldn't realise they were any different.
The nurse called me, "Your wife sir. I found her this morning. I think she's taken an overdose."
This time the Super was less sympathetic. "I'm surprised you didn't check more carefully."
He was a shrewd bastard. I would have to be very careful.
He gave me a week to find a place for her - out of harm's way.
Carol discharged herself from the psychiatric unit after three months. I was shocked at her appearance. Her hair, which had been dark and glossy was now flat, thin and going grey at the roots. Her skin was papery and her appearance bloated.
"My dear," I said "whatever made you do it?"
She looked at me, her once so bright eyes now like small dull currants in her dough like face. "What have I to live for? You want Mavis and you've even given her my children."
That rocked me. It was all very well that she accepted she had taken the overdose herself but I didn't want any suspicion thrown on my relationship with Mavis.
"Now you're being ridiculous," I told her, 'Mavis is looking after the children because you are not fit. You couldn't even remember taking the whole bottle of pills. If you don't want Mavis to have the children suggest something else."
"I want to go back to London."
For a moment I was silent. It would not be a bad idea to let my colleagues see her. It would lull any suspicion when she finally committed suicide.
"All right", I said. "Pack your bags we'll go back in the morning providing you write to Mavis yourself and ask her to keep the kids until you feel better."
My colleagues were duly shocked at Carol's appearance.
I resigned from the force having found myself a job in Wales and insisted Carol returned with me. Everyone thought what a wonderful man I was, giving up my career to care for my junkie wife.
The mistake most murderers make is to rush things. I intended to take my time. To build up my reputation in the village, I went to church every week; was seen taking flowers home to my invalid wife. I left the door open for the nurse every day when I left for work.
I was so attentive to Carol that she took what ever pills I gave her. She was heavily sedated when I carried her into the bathroom.
It was a matter of minutes to lay her gently in the bath, fill it with water and pull her feet up. She hardly stirred. Dressing quickly I left for work.
The nurse found her. She came to the firm herself and broke the news as gently as she could.
"I should never have left her." I moaned. "I thought she was sound asleep. Time and again I've told her to wait until you arrive before attempting a bath."
The nurse comforted me saying that I had done every thing I could and that no one would blame me. She was right. The coroner's verdict was accidental death. He expressed his sympathy personally at the club. Some of my London colleagues attended the funeral.
I asked Mavis to keep the children until I bought a new house with the money I had put aside for Carol's long term care. No need to tell Mavis the only money I had was that I earned on the side whilst I was still in the force. Once I had probate I would be rich. Carol's father had left her a small fortune.
It pays to take your time...always take your time.
I wouldn't be doing time now if I had taken time to check with her father's solicitor. Carol had taken out a life insurance twelve months before she died. It was the insurance investigator who got the case reopened.
No use now wishing I'd had her cremated, at the time it seemed inadvisable to go against her expressed wishes.
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